(almost) everyone has pronouns in their signature... and nowhere else

In many larger organizations these days, almost everyone includes their pronouns in their email signature except, of course, those who ("against the rules") do not even have an email signature! 

But aside from that, I've noticed that almost no one ever mentions pronouns. A few do list them with their videoconferencing "name", but not too many. But for when introducing oneself at regular meetings, I never hear anyone say things like, "I'm Rob. My pronouns are he/him/they. I'm a communications specialist..." The exception to this, logically, is events and webinars related to diversity and inclusion, where the presenters frequently include their pronouns and invite attendees to share a bit about themselves, including pronouns if they wish, in the chat.

Here is my broad perspective on this: Once an organization allows pronouns in the email signature, most people will add them. Some will be keen on doing so, others will add them because it's somewhat expected. But that's where it ends. 

"One and done."

[trans and nonbinary people are just people like you and me ...]

In light of a lot of misinformation going around about trans and non-binary people, I thought I'd share a few key articles providing balanced perspectives. For the first one, I've also extracted the "quick read" section: 

Quick Read Trans and nonbinary people are just people

•   "Anti-trans legislation is largely based on misinformation and myths.  
•     Kids know their gender identity as early as 3. 
•     Gender-affirming care does not typically involve surgery under age 18. 
•     Being trans or nonbinary is not “trendy,” and most people who transition will not detransition.  
•     Anti-trans sports bans are not based on scientific research.  
•     Sex is not a binary and being trans is not a mental illness.  
•     Trans and nonbinary people have a right to live and access necessary gender-affirming medical care."

From the article "Debunking 8 Top Myths About Trans and Nonbinary People" - read the rest at: https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/life/relationships/transgender-nonbinary-myths

Related articles:

Detransition, Desistance, and Disinformation: A Guide for Understanding Transgender Children Debates

https://juliaserano.medium.com/detransition-desistance-and-disinformation-a-guide-for-understanding-transgender-children-993b7342946e

Arkansas Trans Ban Unconstitutional: Judge Declares 311 Statements Of Fact In Ruling

https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/arkansas-trans-ban-unconstitutional

[pastoral blessing for trans and non-binary parishioners]

In June 2023, at their General Synod, 

"The Anglican Church of Canada has approved the use of new pastoral liturgical texts that fully embrace transgender and gender non-binary people in its church. 

The text, which is wording that would be used during a worship service across all Anglican parishes, includes blessings for the gender transition process, affirmation of gender identity, along with scripture readings and appropriate hymns." (from CBC)

 

Here's a key phrase that stood out for me:

"I think that the rise in fear and hatred and violence against gender queer people has galvanized the Anglican Church of Canada [and] its leadership, and we want to be doing more than you know statements against homophobia, statements against transphobia," said [Rev. Eileen] Scully.

Anyone can make statements - but statements do not usually make the world a better place for minoritized people, so I'm delighted to see this positive and real step forward to increasing the inclusion of transgender and non-binary parishioners!

---

The new "Pastoral Liturgies for Journeys of Gender Affirmation and Transition" can be found at https://www.anglicanlutheran.ca/wp-content/uploads/6e-Report-008-%E2%80%93-Appendix-E-Pastoral-Liturgies-Gender-Transition.pdf

Source of quotes: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/anglican-church-of-canada-introduces-pastoral-blessing-for-transgender-and-gender-non-binary-parishioners-1.6899973#

"universal" washroom

A joke:

Question: What do you call a non-binary deer?

Answer: Dear.

---

Here's a cool version of a washroom sign at the Husky/Tim Horton's in Canmore. Very thematically appropriate as you'll know if you've ever been in Canmore or looked it up on a map.

One thing that's missing, despite its claim to be "universal", is that it still presumes two genders, as seen by the standard figure with pants with a buck's head and the standard figure with a skirt with the female deer head. 

What to put instead? 

How about a toilet? With a wheelchair to indicate barrier-free, and an image of a change table... Maybe the words "Restroom" or "Toilet"

Nowhere near as fun as antlers, I must say...

But going deeper, the problem with this sign is that it is conventionally unconventional - it is still cisheteronormative regardless of cute imagery. It is based on the foundation that presumes everyone is cisgender and heterosexual. 

And that's simply not true and not inclusive of all of God's creation.

mr mike's "he she" hallway

Saw this at the Mr. Mike's restaurant in North Edmonton - an open hallway with multiple doors, each with moustache and lips (some also with wheelchair and baby logos).

Not perfect, as the signs are still based on a gender binary, but pretty good.

It provides the second best alternative to truly gender-neutral washrooms: single-user washrooms with dual gender signage. This means that transgender and non-binary patrons can go into any available washroom without anyone hassling them for being "in the wrong washroom" No one will hassle them for what door they go through, and no one will hassle them for which washroom they are actually in (cuz they'll be in there by themselves).

I imagine that Mr. Mike's interior designers were going for cute and having the signage here align with the signage elsewhere in the restaurant. However, with a bit more creativity, they probably could have come up with all-gender signage that was still on brand!

What do you think? What kind of design would clearly indicate that these are washrooms, while still having a fun element?

[supporting Black lgbgtq+ communities - resources]

Coming Out: Living Authentically as Black LGBTQ People

For those who identify as Black LGBTQ people, the coming out process can be complex to navigate. Coming Out: Living Authentically as Black LGBTQ People is designed for those embarking on their own coming out journey at the intersections of LGBTQ and Black identities. This guide aims to recognize the unique experiences Black LGBTQ people have in coming out, while understanding that coming out is a personal choice and the lifelong coming out experience is different for everyone.

Download page for this 68-page guide: https://www.hrc.org/resources/coming-out-living-authentically-as-black-lgbtq-people

---

Black & LGBTQ: Approaching Intersectional Conversations

If you’re considering engaging (as a Black queer person) with people who identify as non-Black in your life about your identities, it’s important to remember that the process of having difficult conversations does not begin or end with the discussion itself. It is essential to consider your well-being and safety at each step in the journey. Here are some approaches to consider before, during, and after a difficult conversation to make sure the dialogue — and your mental health — stays safe.

Direct download: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/intersectional-conversations-1.pdf

how to invite and make space for the sharing of personal pronouns

Individually

There are various steps individuals who are comfortable with sharing their pronouns can do to invite and make space for others to also share their pronouns if they wish. Here are a few examples:

1. Share your pronouns first. This lets others know that sharing of pronouns is okay, and models one way of sharing them.


2. When asking people to introduce themselves (at a meeting, for example), invite them to share pronouns by saying something like “Introduce yourself with your name, your role on this project, your pronouns if you like, and what you hope to accomplish in today’s meeting.”
   Note: extend this invitation equally to everyone. Do not single out the people that you think look gender-diverse.


3. Share your pronouns in your email signature and with your screen name on video conferencing services.


4. When meeting someone new in a work or formal context, use this three-part introduction: Name, Pronouns, Job Position. This models the sharing of pronouns and sets an example for how the other person could share, yet leaves it open for them to just share Name and Job Position. Note that having three parts to your own introduction, means that someone who prefers not to share their pronouns still has two items to share, which is less awkward than only saying their name.


5. If attending an event where name tags are provided, adding your pronouns after your name is an easy way to normalize the sharing of pronouns.

why sharing personal pronouns must be optional

 

Sharing of pronouns is increasing as diversity and inclusion awareness and initiatives grow. It is far more common to see pronouns listed in email signatures or beside attendee names during a video conference. 

More organizations are promoting the use and sharing of pronouns. Some organizations, however, are now requiring employees to share their pronouns. This is problematic and not recommended for a number of reasons:

1. Someone who is not sure about their pronouns can be pushed into making a premature choice simply to comply with the requirement to list their pronouns, and then may face additional scrutiny if they later change their pronouns upon further consideration.


2. Some transgender or non-binary folx might be quite sure about their pronouns but might not be ready to share them. Perhaps they are still getting used to their identity themselves, perhaps it’s not safe to be out at work, perhaps they have other reasons. If they are required to list their pronouns when they do not want to, there are really only two options: lie about their pronouns by listing ones that are not true to them and possibly feeling like they have negated their transition, or tell the truth and out themselves before they are ready to. Neither option is ideal.


3. Someone might not want to share their pronouns as past experience has taught them that it’s not safe to do so.


4. Some people might not be familiar with sharing pronouns, and might not know what to do or be concerned about not doing it wrong, especially if put on the spot in person or at a meeting.


5. Someone might be comfortable sharing their pronouns and identity in some contexts and not in others. For example, someone might be fine sharing with close friends and with colleagues in their work group, but prefer not to do so with acquaintances and strangers. Depending how much their role needs to interact with others outside of the work group, being obliged to share their pronouns might be uncomfortable and awkward for them. For example, a non-binary employee might have asked their friends to use “they/them” to refer to them, but when interacting with the public at work, the employee uses “she/her” as it matches what customers expect and is easier.


6. Some cisgender people do not like pronouns or see the point of them, or do not like trans folx. Requiring these persons to use pronouns can result in a backlash, one that will often be directed back at trans people.

While pronouns sharing should never be required, it should most definitely be allowed and facilitated, especially as it can make a world of difference to people who are trans or gender non conforming, along with being helpful when connecting with people whose names are gender neutral or unfamiliar. 

by Rob Goetze

To learn more, watch my 36 minute video on "A Practical Guide to the New World of Pronouns" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdtVLgU6OxA&t=6s

trinity not binity

[peanut goes for the gold]

The children's book "Peanut goes for the Gold", published January 2020, is about a non-binary guinea pig.

Peanut Goes for the Gold is a charming, funny, and heartfelt picture book that follows the adventures of Peanut, a gender nonbinary guinea pig who does everything with their own personal flare....
This upbeat and hilarious picture book, inspired by Jonathan's own childhood guinea pig, encourages children to not just be themselves—but to boldly and unapologetically love being themselves.

From Harper Collins

Should be an interesting read if it meets the publisher's description. 

** Since posting this originally, I took the book out from the public library. Not that interesting and definitely not a "I've got to have my own copy" kind of book.

I do wonder, though, if anyone has done any studies as to the impact of books featuring animals versus those featuring human characters. Is there a difference in how children relate to and take in the message?

---

I asked Kristi who works in education and literacy, about this. While we are not aware of particular research about this, here are parts of our conversation.

Certainly there is a positive impact when people see themselves or their own situation reflected in characters in a book, movie, TV show, etc.

A wide variety of characters and situations can be helpful to normalize a range of differences.

Seeing something first in a non-human character (like a guinea pig) who plays a human-like role might make it easier for someone who finds ideas like nonbinary new or unnerving might make it easier for them to later relate to a person who is nonbinary.

The use of non-human characters might also expand our understanding of binary. What I mean is, while some animals are clearly understood to have male and female (think cow and bull, or male and female birds with very different plumage), some others are not as obvious (think squirrels) and some ... well, I have no idea if worms even have gender. Or what about those guinea pigs? I imagine they are male or female, just like the gerbils I had as a child, but I don't think about male or female when I see one.

The connection for the reader could be the character species, the artwork, the humour, or any number of aspects of the book or show.

Kristi also said,
"I do feel it is so important for kids and adults to get a wide range of literature and if being exposed to characters in all situations helps you recalibrate and check who you are all the better. I also think it’s really important to have a huge variety because it can help 'normalize' ideas and situations too."

Would love to hear your thoughts...