I’d like to share with you today about my alphabet of love and, in particular, about why it includes four letters that I've come to love very much: N, B, T and Q.
Non-binary, transgender and queer.
I'm focusing on these four letters because I have some amazing, beautiful friends and colleagues who are non-binary, trans and queer.
And because I've been learning to center people who are at the margins, those who are more oppressed by the structures of our society and by those in power. To figure out how the last can be first…
And because it seems that some people are actively and consciously choosing to leave the letters NB, T and Q out of their alphabet, and I think it is important to speak up about it.
Of course we know some people are against trans folx because of lies and misinformation they've been told by others for political gain or religious control.
But there are also members of the LGBTQ2S+ community who say things like “LGB without the T”. The distinction they are making is between themselves as people who have a minority sexual orientation - lesbian, gay, bisexual - and other people who have a minority gender identity and/or expression - trans, non-binary, queer.
I am sad when I hear this. It’s true that from a western perspective, sexual orientation and gender identity are usually considered to be two different things. But when those who are LGB want to advocate for themselves and leave out the T - and by extension, the NB, I'm not okay with that.
At a practical level, this wrongly suggests that the two groups never overlap - that lesbian, gay and bisexual people are always cisgender and that transgender people are never lesbian, gay or bisexual. This is not the case.
It also wrongly suggests that what impacts transgender folx will not impact lesbian, gay and bisexual people. That's not the case either and ignores the reality that what's happening politically is not really about protecting trans kids but is about control and power, and LGB may be next…
And finally, it leaves out queer people whose cultures - or queerness, for that matter - do not have the same distinction between sex and gender that is predominant in western culture.