(almost) everyone has pronouns in their signature... and nowhere else

In many larger organizations these days, almost everyone includes their pronouns in their email signature except, of course, those who ("against the rules") do not even have an email signature! 

But aside from that, I've noticed that almost no one ever mentions pronouns. A few do list them with their videoconferencing "name", but not too many. But for when introducing oneself at regular meetings, I never hear anyone say things like, "I'm Rob. My pronouns are he/him/they. I'm a communications specialist..." The exception to this, logically, is events and webinars related to diversity and inclusion, where the presenters frequently include their pronouns and invite attendees to share a bit about themselves, including pronouns if they wish, in the chat.

Here is my broad perspective on this: Once an organization allows pronouns in the email signature, most people will add them. Some will be keen on doing so, others will add them because it's somewhat expected. But that's where it ends. 

"One and done."

introducing yourself the "triplet" way

 

Here's a tip for introducing yourself - including pronouns - to someone else. 

Use a triplet, or triad, as follows:

1. Name
2. Pronouns
3. Job title, or position on team, etc.

Example: 

Hi, I'm Marcelino, my pronouns are he and they, I'm a stockbroker.

Why the triplet? Two reasons:

1. First, if sharing your pronouns is new(er) to you, putting your pronouns in between two items that you are used to sharing might make it easier.
2. Second, if the other person wants to share, you've modelled a way of sharing. But if they do not wish to share their pronouns, they can still use the outer two parts: name and job title/position. 

Compare the interaction as Jacquelyn and Hassan meet, with the second row using the triplet:

Possibly awkward	Hi, I'm Jacquelyn, my pronouns are she/her.	Oh, hi, I'm Hassan...
Not awkward	Hi, I'm Jacquelyn, my pronouns are she/her, I'm an architect.	Oh, hi, I'm Hassan, I'm the service manager.

Give it a try:

Say:  Hi, my name is __________, my pronouns are __________, I'm a __________. 

Pretty easy, huh!

by Rob Goetze

To learn more, watch my 36 minute video on "A Practical Guide to the New World of Pronouns" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdtVLgU6OxA&t=6s

how to invite and make space for the sharing of personal pronouns

Individually

There are various steps individuals who are comfortable with sharing their pronouns can do to invite and make space for others to also share their pronouns if they wish. Here are a few examples:

1. Share your pronouns first. This lets others know that sharing of pronouns is okay, and models one way of sharing them.


2. When asking people to introduce themselves (at a meeting, for example), invite them to share pronouns by saying something like “Introduce yourself with your name, your role on this project, your pronouns if you like, and what you hope to accomplish in today’s meeting.”
   Note: extend this invitation equally to everyone. Do not single out the people that you think look gender-diverse.


3. Share your pronouns in your email signature and with your screen name on video conferencing services.


4. When meeting someone new in a work or formal context, use this three-part introduction: Name, Pronouns, Job Position. This models the sharing of pronouns and sets an example for how the other person could share, yet leaves it open for them to just share Name and Job Position. Note that having three parts to your own introduction, means that someone who prefers not to share their pronouns still has two items to share, which is less awkward than only saying their name.


5. If attending an event where name tags are provided, adding your pronouns after your name is an easy way to normalize the sharing of pronouns.

why sharing personal pronouns must be optional

 

Sharing of pronouns is increasing as diversity and inclusion awareness and initiatives grow. It is far more common to see pronouns listed in email signatures or beside attendee names during a video conference. 

More organizations are promoting the use and sharing of pronouns. Some organizations, however, are now requiring employees to share their pronouns. This is problematic and not recommended for a number of reasons:

1. Someone who is not sure about their pronouns can be pushed into making a premature choice simply to comply with the requirement to list their pronouns, and then may face additional scrutiny if they later change their pronouns upon further consideration.


2. Some transgender or non-binary folx might be quite sure about their pronouns but might not be ready to share them. Perhaps they are still getting used to their identity themselves, perhaps it’s not safe to be out at work, perhaps they have other reasons. If they are required to list their pronouns when they do not want to, there are really only two options: lie about their pronouns by listing ones that are not true to them and possibly feeling like they have negated their transition, or tell the truth and out themselves before they are ready to. Neither option is ideal.


3. Someone might not want to share their pronouns as past experience has taught them that it’s not safe to do so.


4. Some people might not be familiar with sharing pronouns, and might not know what to do or be concerned about not doing it wrong, especially if put on the spot in person or at a meeting.


5. Someone might be comfortable sharing their pronouns and identity in some contexts and not in others. For example, someone might be fine sharing with close friends and with colleagues in their work group, but prefer not to do so with acquaintances and strangers. Depending how much their role needs to interact with others outside of the work group, being obliged to share their pronouns might be uncomfortable and awkward for them. For example, a non-binary employee might have asked their friends to use “they/them” to refer to them, but when interacting with the public at work, the employee uses “she/her” as it matches what customers expect and is easier.


6. Some cisgender people do not like pronouns or see the point of them, or do not like trans folx. Requiring these persons to use pronouns can result in a backlash, one that will often be directed back at trans people.

While pronouns sharing should never be required, it should most definitely be allowed and facilitated, especially as it can make a world of difference to people who are trans or gender non conforming, along with being helpful when connecting with people whose names are gender neutral or unfamiliar. 

by Rob Goetze

To learn more, watch my 36 minute video on "A Practical Guide to the New World of Pronouns" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdtVLgU6OxA&t=6s

happy international pronouns day!

 

To all the hes and the shes,

The aes and the faes,

The pers and the xes,

The zes and the zies,

The eys and the others,

And most of all, to all the theys

(but only cuz there’s more of them):

Happy International Pronouns Day!

To make your day even happier, here's a new cartoon by me:

a practical guide to the new world of pronouns

Here's a great learning opportunity that I've created for you -- a practical guide to the new world of pronouns. 

This 36 minute video covers key topics like:

• Correct Pronouns Matter
• People Who Might Use Other Pronouns
• Pronouns for the New World We Live In
• Getting Practical About Sharing Pronouns
• Messing up with Grace

Link to watch directly at YouTube.com: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdtVLgU6OxA&t=6s